Josh Olson became one of the first soldiers to lose his leg at the hip level in the Iraq war when he was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade while on patrol in 2003. He was a 23-year-old Army staff sergeant when he had to grapple with the situation so many Haitians are suddenly facing.
His story, told in his own words, continues msnbc.com's special series of essays from amputee veterans recounting what it means to rebuild your life after losing a limb.
By Josh Olson, with Linda Dahlstrom
I always thought being a soldier was a best job in the world – I still do.
Ever since I was a young kid I wanted to enlist. It's kind of what the men in my family do. My grandpa, father and uncle were all in the military. When I turned 17 I enlisted in the Army; I was 18 when I shipped out.
A few years later my unit was one of the earliest to get to Iraq. We arrived in February 2003, a few months before the U.S. invasion. When we first go there it was pretty chaotic. All the Iraqi military and police were gone and there was a lot of looting in the streets. I wouldn't really say it was anarchy but pretty close to it. Our job was to reclaim government buildings and vehicles.
The night of Oct. 27, 2003, we were patrolling town when a rocket hit the back of the vehicle. A second rocket, the one that hit me, came about 90 seconds later. At first I thought I'd just gotten shot and I tried to walk it off. I did a quick physical inventory like they teach us: I checked my arms and hands and they were OK, but when I reached down to my right leg, I realized I had a problem.
I knew I was injured but didn't realize my leg was gone, blown off at the hip. I tried to crawl back to the vehicle and then my driver saw me.
Later when they started cutting my equipment off at the aid station, that's when the pain kicked in: the sharpest, worst pain all the way down to my core. It took the wind right out of me, but they couldn't give me any pain medication because I'd lost so much blood they were afraid I'd pass away.
What I remember most about the helicopter that airlifted me to a hospital in Mosul was that there was a female on board and she smelled good, like she'd just showered. She was the first female I'd seen in about nine months. I don't remember anything else until I woke up eight days later in Germany. I still thought I was in Iraq and so when I saw my parents there I asked them I worried about why they were in a war zone and reminded them of how dangerous it was.
When they first told me I didn't have a leg, I was like "OK, but I'm still alive." It didn't honestly set in until about three months later when I was at Walter Reed and I put my prosthetic on for the first time and looked in the mirror. That was a blow, like getting hit in the chest. I thought, "Now I have to depend on this for the rest of my life." It wasn't something that was going to go away.
I went from being a 23-year-old who owned a house, owned my car, did everything on my own and was an infantry leader to a patient at Walter Reed who couldn't even go to the bathroom by myself -- my mom had to wipe me.
One of the things that drove me the most was that I wanted my independence back. I've always been taught to never quit, no matter what, and if there was still air in your lungs, you go fight. I knew there was something out there for me to do. I realized life wasn't over; it was just a new chapter. I was the same person inside, but on the outside I was different.
Some days I still deal with depression and am mad that I don't have a leg, but it's getting easier to snap out of it. I've had to learn patience. Before I was a real Type A personality and "go go go go." I'm still kind of that way but having a prosthetic has made me slow down.
Someone asked me after I got hurt if I could do anything what would it be. I said I wanted to go back to Iraq with my prosthetic and look the insurgency in the eye and say, "You tried to knock me down but you didn't."
There's a program called Operation Proper Exit where they take wounded soldiers back to Iraq. It's given me a lot of closure. I used to wonder if it had been worth it, all the pain and death. I lost quite a few friends over there and have other friends who got blown up like me. But then I saw the playgrounds in Iraq and the schools and the traffic moving freely. Nothing will ever replace my leg and the friends I lost but, yeah, it was worth it.
Back when I was at Walter Reed, I was afraid I'd have to leave the Army but then I had an opportunity to come down to the marksman unit and try out as an instructor. Now I teach Army marksmanship in Fort Benning, Ga., and I'm training for the 2012 Paralympics. Shooting competitively for the Army and the Paralympics is my job.
When I first heard about the Haiti earthquake I remembered what I was going through at an American hospital and I can only imagine what it's like in a country like Haiti. I'm a soldier; I was in a war zone. I knew I could get hurt. But they didn't see it coming.
I know it won't be easy for them for the first year or two, like it wasn't for me. They'll have to make the decision if they want to live or if they want to give up.
For me, when I'm down, it helps to remember there are people who have it worse than me. When my unit went back to Iraq the second time, the guy who had my job was actually killed, along with one of my friends, so getting hurt may have actually saved my life.
A lot of my friends went on and joined the Special Forces. I'd have like to have done something like that, but I try not to think about it too much -- because that's just not what it is.
Leave a Comment:
I want to thank you for your service. I have a brother over there right now ans it is people like you and him that keep me and my eight kids safe and free.
Thankyou
This is a remarkable story that shows the strength of one of our many troops. Its for some on comprehend the battles and struggles that those who have gone to war fight everyday. I loved that in this article the comments of fighting with depression and anger, but that no matter what this soldier knows that he was there for a cause-and his loss made a difference for many!
I used to be a non-believer in war; although after reading about your courage, I am so proud of our Service Warriors. If it weren't for you all, I am confident we wouldn't have the freedom or the law and order we are so blessed to experience today. Rest assured that: A man is not the shell he lives in this short while on earth; but a man is the heart and soul he displays in this life and will carry on to reap eternal reward in the next life. Thank you Josh and all of our brave heros from the bottom of my heart, I have much love and respect for you.
I have several family members (men/women) who have served over the years and currently have two uncles in Iraq. I have the greatest amount of respect and hold the military men and women in the highest possible regard. Thank you for my freedom and the daily pleasures myself, and my children, are allowed to enjoy because of a personal choice you made and your sacrifice for everyone's freedom. It is the most selfless thing you could do next to motherhood.
Loss, anger, pain, depression, acceptance, determination, goals, triumph. Sgt. Olson's story shows amputation is amputation no matter where or why. You are still leading and showing the way. Thank you and good luck in London 2012.
Thank you, Josh (and all of our troops), for serving our great country, and for sharing your personal experience(s) with the world.
Josh, you have obviously grown in maturity, strength and character while learning to cope with a major, life changing injury. I have no idea what it is like to have to adjust to life without a leg or arm, however your tone reflects a driving sense of hope, courage and determination to move on and to make a difference. No doubt you are an inspiration to your family and friends, but by reaching out, you have also influenced the attitudes of millions who have also read your story. No matter where we are in life, we will all experience pain and trouble and loss and need to have hope for better days ahead. God be with you and bless you.
Thank you again to ALL of our men and women in the military who daily put their lives and limbs on the line for freedom's sake.
Gina Morrone
After reading about your experience, I have started respected this fraternity of men even more. We all just live common lives, you command respect as you selflessly devote your lives for your countrymen. God Bless you all.
Words cannot express the gratitude I wish to bestow on you Josh. You, like so many other of our great soldiers, possess a beautiful spirit that doesn't stop in the face of adversity. You stare danger in the eye and you make IT blink and turn away. Thank you for being you and showing the world what the United States of America is really about!
Beautiful story! I'm so glad you stayed positive. I really respect you for it and I know others will too. You don't always know how much good you're doing- but your story really brightened my day.
-Jessica
50womenblog.org
This war was based on a lie. While I am proud of our soldiers, as I too was one in during the first Iraq war, and 100% disabled, I dont agree with having our military members wasted on a war that never needed to happen. No WMD, no terrorists until the war started, they didnt attack us......must be the oil. I'm not into loosing my body parts for oil, but thats the reality. Must we kill the whole middle east off to find a man in a cave? Thousands of people lost their lives for what? This war is an excuse to keep americans in fear so they can make laws that give us less freedom, and the elite more power. Taking the middle east resources is part of a global power scam and the little people are being used to fight for it. Mean while, soldiers coming back from war are all into this I'm a hero @!$%#, a man, a fighter......if you believe that then you took it hook line and sinker!!!
Fatma - How respectful of you to use the comment section of a soldiers personal story to post your pathetic view on foriegn policy. This kid lost a limb defending your way of life and your freedom and, truth be told, you don't deserve to be defended. I'd much rather have Josh in full working order, with both legs and have you live with the loss of a limb, since I'm quite sure you were a useless person to begin with. You live your entire life, spewing your political opinions and conspiracy theories; you do all this under the protection of a country that you hate. Why did you even bother starting off with "While I am proud of our soldiers", if you were only going to go on and tell us how you really feel? "soldiers coming back from war are all into this I'm a hero @!$%#, a man, a fighter..."? Seriously? What a pathetic piece of sh*& you are...
RE: "This kid lost a limb defending your way of life and your freedom and, truth be told, you don't deserve to be defended."
Chris: If you are going to criticize someone, it would be really, Really, REALLY helpful if you had some remote clue of what you are spouting off about.
Our "way of life" in North America was NEVER, EVER, NOT EVEN ONCE "endangered" by the existence of Saddam Hussein's regime.
Our "freedom" (what "freedom"? The "freedom" to starve to death on the streets? The freedom to go from being a proud soldier, to being a homeless person living in a shelter or sleeping in a doorway on 25-degree weather? The "freedom" to not have adequate health insurance?) in North America was NEVER, EVER, NOT EVEN ONCE "endangered" by the existence of Saddam Hussein's regime.
That's what makes the stories of so many of our young warriors so sad in the first place -- the cause which sent them to Iraq to face death, injury and/or physical or psychological trauma, was not worthy of the tremendous sacrifices our young men and women of the Armed Forces made on our behalf.
I am certainly glad that there are schools in Iraq. There were schools in Iraq before the 2003 invasion, too. I am certainly glad that there is automobile traffic in Iraq, per the article. That existed prior to the USA invasion, too.
What DID exist prior to the illegal US invasion of Iraq, but which DO NOT exist now, are about 4,500 Americans -- and well over half-a-million Iraqis, the overwhelming majority of whom were innocent civilians, killed in a war which they did not want and which they did not start.
I salute this young man's dedication, perseverance and bravery. I mourn the fact that his sacrifice was so high, for a "cause" that was based on lies.
Thank you, Sgt. Olson. This country owes you a great deal, more than you know. Someday I hope that this great Nation will be worthy of the sacrifices you have made.
To Josh Olson and all American Veterans, I thank you for your service to our country the USA and for your Fearless Faith which gives all of us the opportunity to live inspired and free lives. God Bless You and Be Encouraged, there are people out here who Love You and will continue to pray for God's Blessing on your lives.
Josh- I am grateful and Thank God for being merciful to you and your friends also the brothers and sisters in Haiti
True heroes will stand up to our government, not allow the brainwashing to continue and carry out their hidden agenda. There is a reason Bin Laden is alive - we easily have the technology to seek and destroy a man in a cave. Our soldiers are heroes in their own right - they believe they are fighting to serve and protect our country because that is what they are taught to do and they put their lives on the line every day for each and every one of us. However it is that very motive (serve and protect) that I question every day. Please do some research on the the following: 911 conspiracy, Black Budget, Phil Schneider, Denver International Airport, Deep Underground Military Bases, HAARP. I don't know what to believe anymore. My research has certainly struck a nerve and made me fear for the worst. If anyone has facts - real FACTS, I would love to be enlightened.
Thank you Sgt. Olson.
Thank you Sgt. Olson
You have my deep gratitude and appreciation, Sgt. Olson for your sacrifice. You and your fellow soldiers help keep our country free. Words can never express my thanks.
SSgt Olson your story is one of personal courage and conviction. As a veteran, I'm proud that you carry the passion for the foundations of our country and our military. It's also a lesson for those that don't understand; freedom is not "free." Your sacrifice and recovery process is an inspiration.
Josh - - Words cannot thank you enough for your sacrifice; may God bestow you with mercy. You have a wonderful out look on life and God willing; you will go on to do much more in living!! You are very handsome young man, may your life be filled with all the things to make you successful in any indeavor you choose. I have to include that my son's name is Joshua, he is 15 years old. And accident almost cut is leg off with a chainsaw last Fourth of July09. He is all better now & fortunately did not hit or damage the bone. My heart goes out to you and all others; as in the Haiti Earthquake - May God bless each and everyone of us as we strive forward in this world.
Sincerely,
K
For those of you who have forgotten 9-11. I have not. nor has my husband currently serving. If you have an opinion that you need to share, do it on your own space. this is a comment box for Sgt. Olson. And to him we thank. So keep your Damn mouth shut. That freedom of speech you take so freely was established by soldiers long before fighting wars people thought were useless. And is kept by the soldiers today. Learn to say thank you and leave it at that.
This story shows the human side to war which we often forget when we are safe at home in our comfy beds thousands of miles away. I wish this soldier and all the others all the best in their struggles. I was brought up in Africa in a country at war where it was on our doorstep. I lost over 70% of my friends during those years. Our prayers are with all those who fight for freedom and our Christian way of life.
While I admire Josh's bravery, I'm sickened by the notion that he was fighting to keep us "free" - if there is nobility in sacrifice, it is doubly tragic for that sacrifice to be wasted.
Whatever kind of monster Saddam was in 1990, even with the 4th largest army in the world, he was never a threat to the US. He was fine as a dictator as long as he was OUR dictator. When he took our sitting on the fence as tacit agreement to invade Kuwait, we played him like a piano.
When the President of the United States is a failed oil man, and the vice president the CEO of a no-bid contracting company that will make billions on the war, whatever notion of "freedom" we're supposed to be fighting for is exetremely suspect. Do not delude yourself that killing half a million civilians is liberating them from anything. We emascualted Saddam in the 90s. We sacrificed men like Josh in an attempt to bring about a "New American Century" that would control middle east oil.
There has never been a war in US history, that wasn't driven by profit potential. Even the "just" war against Hitler was financed by multinationals with US components.
I salute Josh's courage. I mourn the waste of his sacrifice so small men can make money from it.
It's brave, resilient people like this man that keep this country free. And I agree with Lisa. These dudes make sacrifices like this man has so you can have your freedom of speech. Don't abuse that right. Shut the hell up, and thank this man for what he's done for all of us.
Thanks for sharing your story with the world, Staff Sergeant Olson. I pray for you and all of my troops still serving back there........God Bless.
Thank you for your service. May God bless you and keep you and your loved ones in His care.
Reading what you went through shows us why supporting our troops is such a wonderful gesture and we can never repay the debt we owe you all.
Good Luck. God Bless.
Josh is our son. It is by God's Grace we still have him as medically, he shouldn't have survived. We know the good Lord has a plan for Josh's life. Thanks to all of your wonderful comments. We, as Josh's family are so proud of him and thank the good LORD constantly we still have him. We also pray for all our troops and their families constantly. God Bless all of you and GOD BLESS AMERICA.